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How Burned Out Are You? (A Quiz You're Too Tired to Take)
Burnout is the body's way of telling you that your work-life balance has been replaced by a work-work balance. Take this quiz to determine your burnout level. Or don't. You're probably too tired.
Question 1: How do you feel when your alarm goes off?
A. Fine. Ready to start the day.
B. Mild dread, like hearing the Jaws theme but quieter.
C. The alarm is an act of violence and I respond accordingly.
D. I don't set alarms anymore. I'm awake at 3 AM already.
Question 2: How often do you think about quitting?
A. Rarely. The job has its frustrations but overall it's fine.
B. Weekly. Usually on Monday and again on Tuesday through Friday.
C. I have a resignation letter saved as a draft. I update it seasonally.
D. I forgot I could quit. This is just my life now.
Question 3: Your email inbox makes you feel:
A. Organized. I process emails efficiently.
B. Slightly anxious, like a pile of laundry that's sentient and angry.
C. Nothing. I have achieved inbox apathy. It can't hurt me anymore.
D. I haven't opened it in four days and I'm not going to start now.
Question 4: When was the last time you felt genuinely excited about your work?
A. Last week, actually.
B. Last quarter? Maybe the quarter before?
C. I remember excitement as a concept. Like how I remember floppy disks.
D. Define "excited." Define "work." Define "felt."
Question 5: Your weekend plans are:
A. Active. Social events, hobbies, maybe a day trip.
B. Recovery. The weekend is where I become human again.
C. Staring at the wall and calling it "decompressing."
D. Working, because I'm behind on the thing I was behind on last weekend.
Results
Mostly A's: You're Fine. You're not burned out. Why are you taking this quiz? Go enjoy your functional relationship with your career. The rest of us will be here on the couch.
Mostly B's: The Smolder. You're not on fire yet, but there's smoke. The warning signs are there: the Sunday night dread, the "is this all there is?" thoughts during meetings, the way you've started counting the years until retirement even though you're 34. Consider boundaries. Consider saying no. Consider that "I don't have the bandwidth" is a complete sentence.
Mostly C's: The Char. You're burned out. Not burned out enough to quit, but burned out enough that the phrase "company culture" makes you physically recoil. You're operating on autopilot, and autopilot is keeping you employed but not alive, not really. Time for a change, or a vacation, or at minimum a long conversation with someone who isn't a coworker.
Mostly D's: The Ash. You're past burned out. You've entered a post-burnout state where the fire has consumed everything and left a kind of peaceful emptiness. You are the corporate equivalent of Pompeii: still standing, technically, but preserved in a state of suspended catastrophe. Please take a day off. Please take several.